DIY Omake: the No Small Injury Character Q and A! And the official No Small Injury theme tunes

[bob_fish]

It's simple: just as with those character question memes that go around occasionally, ask any of the characters in No Small Injury a question by commenting on this thread, and I shall have them answer you in their own words. What's Rebecca's favourite pizza topping? Who was Al's first shag? How does Katzenklavier sleep at night? Ask away.

BTW, feel free to bend the rules and ask characters not appearing in the story a question. Does Emperor Ling ever miss the great outdoors? How much is Garfiel going to throttle Ed when he sees him next? etc. The Q and A is of course Wrong Turn 'verse, hence Olivia would be telling you her favourite dessert from beyond the grave, rather than from the Wall of Briggs.

Also, because I'm self-indulgent like that, I had a think one day as to what the theme tune of No Small Injury would be. I decided it would be:
Scott Walker, "Get Behind Me"

enemytosleep, my lovely beta/editor/vice-president of Wrong Turn 'verse, also chose a theme. Hers is significantly more badass:
All That Remains, "It Dwells in Me"

Comments

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i'll listen to the tunes later and now i just want to know who was Al's first shag....

Okay questions, either what did Ed make of Roy's 'mom' the first time he meets her (since i don't think that happens in the story but my brain has so many potholes...)

or what did Roy do the one time Riza seriously considered shooting him?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Al: Lizzie Muller, in Mrs Atherton's barn, after the village Midsummer's Day dance on the summer after the Promised Day. I swear to you I did not know she had a boyfriend. She said they broke up!

Ed: And then the guy knocks on the front door the next day and says he's going to kick Al's skinny ass. And Al tries to talk his way out of it at the door for like ten minutes, then they go out in the lane and of course Al creams him in like ten seconds. I wanted to go watch only Winry had a hold of me by the collar.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ed: she's cool. Kind of scary, but nowhere near as scary as Teacher. When you meet her you can kind of see how Mustang turned out like that. They have the same smirk, it's creepy. Oh, and she told me I looked peaky and then made me an awesome Bloody Mary, only I swear she made it half vodka.

[randomcheeses.livejournal.com]

Hmm. . . think I want to know what Falman does for fun?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Riza: well, aside from the obvious incident which I'm sure you've heard about, it's a toss-up between two. It's either the time he set my father's garden on fire when he thought he'd worked out his own flame array, or the first joint North-East training exercise after the war. He got into a drinking contest with Brigadier General Armstrong and threw up on my boots as I was helping him to the bathroom. I still remind him of this incident from time to time.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Falman: I collect old railway timetables and other emphera, and I enjoy reading about the development of railway transport and infrastructure. Did you know that Drachman trains use a wider gauge so the carriages are more suitable for luxury travel for the aristocracy? Or that Drachma has the greatest mileage of railway tracks in the world?

[havocmangawip.livejournal.com]

Rebecca, how do you spend the minuscule amount of time off that you've got now that you're on Team Mustang? Are there any perks to joining Team Mustang?

Havoc: Just how fast does she go? The sports car, not your girlfriend... *is shot*

Side note being a self-appointed advocate... what are your thoughts on the accessibility situation in Amestris? What would you change? Who gave you the idea for the alloy light weight chair? Was that you or did someone else suggest it?

And one final question... are you deliriously happy?

[enemytosleep]

Until I'm able to brave the heat of the second floor, I will just open with:

@Ed: I found a photo of Roy at Grumman's funeral. It appears ... altered. Care to elaborate?

@Al: How long did you know about the Ling thing before it was, ahem, confirmed? And how do you best like to lord this over Ed?

@Rebecca: Could you give me your predictions for any budding office romances that may or may not be developing?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ed: hahahahahahaha. No.

[enemytosleep]

I see ... guess I'll have to ask Roy about it then.

@Roy: Please tell me you did not actually do this.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Al: Well ... of course I noticed Ling was flirting with him from the start, but I don't think he did. I mean, if you think Brother can be dense about this stuff now, you should have seen what he was like at fifteen. I was totally planning to ask him a few questions about how he enjoyed all that alone time with Ling ... Greed ... whoever ... that winter. Only then I totally didn't have to because when we were in the hospital the morning after the Promised Day, I woke up to find them making out on Brother's bed. Really not the first thing I wanted to see waking up after only just getting my body back.

Brother of course swore me to secrecy because he thought Winry would wig out. So initially, my favourite way to get my own back for this was to remind him I knew. Of course Winry figured it out in thirty seconds and thought it was hilarious, then it was kind of fun to remind him she figured it out. But I think my number one favourite has got to be telling Brother that Brigadier General Mustang is totally his type. You know, they're both Xingese and smirky and arrogant and want to rule the world. Brother flails so much, I think the idea just really hurts his brain. Never gets old.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Rebecca: oooh. Let me see *finger on chin* ... Well, the number one question on everyone's lips is if something's going on with Riza and Major Miles. I mean, the buddy system sleepover thingy's over, but I'm sure she's still at his place, I've tried calling her flat like an hour after she leaves the office and she's never. There. Of course this is Riza and she's saying nothing. She did admit he was "good company", quote unquote, which in Riza-speak is pretty huge. Plus she seems kind of ... perky ... given how the situation with Hakuro's totally down the toilet. I've put Jean on to pumping Miles to see what he can get out of him - oh, ha, I totally didn't mean for it to sound like that. Although that is a lovely little mental image right there. Heh.

Other people ... Well, Fuery's been on the market for a while, but no news there. Ross and Sullivan are still dating, which is nice for her, I happen to know she hadn't had any action since Xing. Breda has gone kind of oddly quiet, Jean thinks he may be dating someone, as in dating, not just screwing. I will look into this. Fullmetal and Alphonse are also both single right now, although from what I hear Al really gets around. Always the harmless-looking ones, isn't it?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Roy: please tell me you can actually tell a crude ballpoint pen scribble on a photograph from the real thing. If only everyone on my team was as observant as you, we'd have had this case cracked in a day.

[enemytosleep]

Oooo, touché. I was referring to the actual crude alteration, btw. But go on ahead being rude. It's cool.

[enemytosleep]

You are my hero. What are you doing later?

[enemytosleep]

That is a lovely little mental image. :D

Poor Maria. That is quite the dry spell, and after kicking so much ass in Xing too (and getting, of course). Oooo, I can't wait to hear more about this Breda thing. Any ideas who it might be? Anyone we know? And yeah, Al seems like he's making up for lost time. He is sweet, though.

[sky-dark.livejournal.com]

Roy: When are you going to get on him already?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Oh, I was planning to check out to this new Xingese noodle place that's supposed to be good, then after I was meeting some friends and heading to a gig. Hey, do you want to come along? It should be a fun evening.

[enemytosleep]

I would love that. :D

[sky-dark.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I'm at work, this is where my mind stays. I'll think of something better when I get home. Maybe.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Great! *dazzling Elric grin* Meet you at seven o'clock by the big Xingese dragon statue on Bauer Street? I'll see you then.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Roy: on who, exactly? Not that it's any of your business.

[enemytosleep]

Sure thing. *is dazzled* See you then. :D

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Rebecca: You said it. I'm lucky if I get Sundays off working for this ass. On the rare occasions I get to have a life, I guess my ideal evening would be cocktails and Aerugan food. And a good lay, obviously, although this may be controversial, but I kind of like to do that before going out. The sex is way better than when I'm tipsy and exhausted and stuffed with good food. And I used to be on a soccer team back when I was in my old job in East, but, you guessed it, zero time these days. Anyway, most of the time it's a struggle to get any downtime, especially when both Jean and I are free. We're both big believers in making the most of the time we get, which means ordering in a lot. That, and long lunch breaks when the chief's distracted enough to let us get away with it. We favour the roomier supply closets, for obvious reasons.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Havoc: She'll go pretty damn fast, I'll tell you that much. Still haven't hit her limits, but I'm doing my best to find out. Heh heh heh.