DIY Omake: the No Small Injury Character Q and A! And the official No Small Injury theme tunes

[bob_fish]

It's simple: just as with those character question memes that go around occasionally, ask any of the characters in No Small Injury a question by commenting on this thread, and I shall have them answer you in their own words. What's Rebecca's favourite pizza topping? Who was Al's first shag? How does Katzenklavier sleep at night? Ask away.

BTW, feel free to bend the rules and ask characters not appearing in the story a question. Does Emperor Ling ever miss the great outdoors? How much is Garfiel going to throttle Ed when he sees him next? etc. The Q and A is of course Wrong Turn 'verse, hence Olivia would be telling you her favourite dessert from beyond the grave, rather than from the Wall of Briggs.

Also, because I'm self-indulgent like that, I had a think one day as to what the theme tune of No Small Injury would be. I decided it would be:
Scott Walker, "Get Behind Me"

enemytosleep, my lovely beta/editor/vice-president of Wrong Turn 'verse, also chose a theme. Hers is significantly more badass:
All That Remains, "It Dwells in Me"

Comments

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i'll listen to the tunes later and now i just want to know who was Al's first shag....

Okay questions, either what did Ed make of Roy's 'mom' the first time he meets her (since i don't think that happens in the story but my brain has so many potholes...)

or what did Roy do the one time Riza seriously considered shooting him?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Al: Lizzie Muller, in Mrs Atherton's barn, after the village Midsummer's Day dance on the summer after the Promised Day. I swear to you I did not know she had a boyfriend. She said they broke up!

Ed: And then the guy knocks on the front door the next day and says he's going to kick Al's skinny ass. And Al tries to talk his way out of it at the door for like ten minutes, then they go out in the lane and of course Al creams him in like ten seconds. I wanted to go watch only Winry had a hold of me by the collar.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ed: she's cool. Kind of scary, but nowhere near as scary as Teacher. When you meet her you can kind of see how Mustang turned out like that. They have the same smirk, it's creepy. Oh, and she told me I looked peaky and then made me an awesome Bloody Mary, only I swear she made it half vodka.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Riza: well, aside from the obvious incident which I'm sure you've heard about, it's a toss-up between two. It's either the time he set my father's garden on fire when he thought he'd worked out his own flame array, or the first joint North-East training exercise after the war. He got into a drinking contest with Brigadier General Armstrong and threw up on my boots as I was helping him to the bathroom. I still remind him of this incident from time to time.

[randomcheeses.livejournal.com]

Hmm. . . think I want to know what Falman does for fun?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Falman: I collect old railway timetables and other emphera, and I enjoy reading about the development of railway transport and infrastructure. Did you know that Drachman trains use a wider gauge so the carriages are more suitable for luxury travel for the aristocracy? Or that Drachma has the greatest mileage of railway tracks in the world?

[havocmangawip.livejournal.com]

Rebecca, how do you spend the minuscule amount of time off that you've got now that you're on Team Mustang? Are there any perks to joining Team Mustang?

Havoc: Just how fast does she go? The sports car, not your girlfriend... *is shot*

Side note being a self-appointed advocate... what are your thoughts on the accessibility situation in Amestris? What would you change? Who gave you the idea for the alloy light weight chair? Was that you or did someone else suggest it?

And one final question... are you deliriously happy?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Rebecca: You said it. I'm lucky if I get Sundays off working for this ass. On the rare occasions I get to have a life, I guess my ideal evening would be cocktails and Aerugan food. And a good lay, obviously, although this may be controversial, but I kind of like to do that before going out. The sex is way better than when I'm tipsy and exhausted and stuffed with good food. And I used to be on a soccer team back when I was in my old job in East, but, you guessed it, zero time these days. Anyway, most of the time it's a struggle to get any downtime, especially when both Jean and I are free. We're both big believers in making the most of the time we get, which means ordering in a lot. That, and long lunch breaks when the chief's distracted enough to let us get away with it. We favour the roomier supply closets, for obvious reasons.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Havoc: She'll go pretty damn fast, I'll tell you that much. Still haven't hit her limits, but I'm doing my best to find out. Heh heh heh.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Havoc: short answer - not accessible enough. It's way better than it used to be - Bradley signed a bill about five years back requiring all public buildings in cities to be accessible to wheelchairs, and a bunch of other stuff . Propaganda move of course, showing respect to our veterans, blah blah blah. Of course it was lip service, and half of Central pretty much ignores it. As for the countryside, forget about it. Anyhoo, it means I gotta make sure I stay in charge of where I meet clients for work. Heading into a restaurant and finding all the tables are down a staircase is not a great negotiating position to start from. On the other hand, the other week I was taking Becky out and this exact thing happened. I happened to be in uniform, so on my way back out the door I casually reminded them they were breaking the law. Drove by two days later and hey look, they had builders in. Heh.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

As for the chair. It's pretty cutting edge. The guy who fixed up my car is based in Rush Valley and he put me on to an automail mechanic pal of his who makes them. He's pretty cool - he got started because he uses a chair and was freaking tired of how clunky and annoying most wheelchairs are - as he says, whoever designed these things clearly never tried to use them to get around. So he made his own with bicycle parts, and of course being from Rush Valley he decided to start selling them to other people. He's doing pretty great business out of it now. I know this because his prices are going through the roof.

@havocmangawip: I already replied to this and the last question but lj is eating my comments for some reason

[enemytosleep]

Until I'm able to brave the heat of the second floor, I will just open with:

@Ed: I found a photo of Roy at Grumman's funeral. It appears ... altered. Care to elaborate?

@Al: How long did you know about the Ling thing before it was, ahem, confirmed? And how do you best like to lord this over Ed?

@Rebecca: Could you give me your predictions for any budding office romances that may or may not be developing?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ed: hahahahahahaha. No.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Al: Well ... of course I noticed Ling was flirting with him from the start, but I don't think he did. I mean, if you think Brother can be dense about this stuff now, you should have seen what he was like at fifteen. I was totally planning to ask him a few questions about how he enjoyed all that alone time with Ling ... Greed ... whoever ... that winter. Only then I totally didn't have to because when we were in the hospital the morning after the Promised Day, I woke up to find them making out on Brother's bed. Really not the first thing I wanted to see waking up after only just getting my body back.

Brother of course swore me to secrecy because he thought Winry would wig out. So initially, my favourite way to get my own back for this was to remind him I knew. Of course Winry figured it out in thirty seconds and thought it was hilarious, then it was kind of fun to remind him she figured it out. But I think my number one favourite has got to be telling Brother that Brigadier General Mustang is totally his type. You know, they're both Xingese and smirky and arrogant and want to rule the world. Brother flails so much, I think the idea just really hurts his brain. Never gets old.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Rebecca: oooh. Let me see *finger on chin* ... Well, the number one question on everyone's lips is if something's going on with Riza and Major Miles. I mean, the buddy system sleepover thingy's over, but I'm sure she's still at his place, I've tried calling her flat like an hour after she leaves the office and she's never. There. Of course this is Riza and she's saying nothing. She did admit he was "good company", quote unquote, which in Riza-speak is pretty huge. Plus she seems kind of ... perky ... given how the situation with Hakuro's totally down the toilet. I've put Jean on to pumping Miles to see what he can get out of him - oh, ha, I totally didn't mean for it to sound like that. Although that is a lovely little mental image right there. Heh.

Other people ... Well, Fuery's been on the market for a while, but no news there. Ross and Sullivan are still dating, which is nice for her, I happen to know she hadn't had any action since Xing. Breda has gone kind of oddly quiet, Jean thinks he may be dating someone, as in dating, not just screwing. I will look into this. Fullmetal and Alphonse are also both single right now, although from what I hear Al really gets around. Always the harmless-looking ones, isn't it?

[sky-dark.livejournal.com]

Roy: When are you going to get on him already?

[sky-dark.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I'm at work, this is where my mind stays. I'll think of something better when I get home. Maybe.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Roy: on who, exactly? Not that it's any of your business.

[a-big-apple.livejournal.com]

@Ross: How are you finding the dating scene in Amestris, as compared to Xing? I hear you've hit your stride again.

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Ross: Xing wasn't at all what I was expecting. I'd heard it was a very traditional society, but they have a very different attitude to relationships and marriages, especially among the aristocracy. It was quite the eye opener. The Yao clan were very kind hosts, and after the business with that assassination attempt on the Emperor, they were incredibly welcoming and really made me feel at home. Prince Ling's personal harem were especially nice, I got to know them quite well and they taught me a lot about the local culture. He's a lucky man.

Once the dust in Central had settled, I was so happy to see all my friends again that it took me a few weeks to remember how crappy the dating scene can be. I have one of those classic lesbian circles of friends - everyone's everyone else's ex, and lovely as my friends are I have no desire to date any of them ever again. So that leaves the bar scene and work. I've never really enjoyed meeting random girls in bars, I'd rather get to know and like someone through work. Sadly, much as people like to joke about the army being full of lesbians, I can tell you it's not. More like full of straight girls who've given it a try once, which is another road I don't want to go down again. I really was amazingly lucky to meet Julia. We really clicked as soon as she transferred to the team a few months ago. I don't know why it took me so long to do anything about it. But there you go.


@apple: Ross's adventures in Xing actually canon from an Arakawa interview (http://amber1003.deviantart.com/journal/27736965/). She foiled an assassination attempt, restarted Amestris-Xing diplomatic relations, and paved the way for the Yao clan to take the throne. Amazing!

[flybynight00.livejournal.com]

Riza: Is it true that once you go Ishbalan, you never go back?

Roy Mustang and Izumi Curtis: ARE YOU SIBLINGS? Concerned citizens want to know. Those citizens would then use the information to fry Edward Elric's brain, something they believe you would find entertaining.

Miles: At what point did you become interested in Riza?

Rebecca: At what point did Miles become interested in Riza?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Riza: *favours you with an icy look, clearly full expecting you'll cave after a few seconds*

[daphne-minor.livejournal.com]

@Al: What is the best part about having your body back?

@Riza: Do you read much in your spare time? Any book recs?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

Al: um. It's really difficult to pick one thing. Sleeping is amazing - I don't know if it seems like something you'd miss, but that was one of the things I missed most. It feels great, and also your mind kind of sorts things out for you when you're asleep. If you've had a bad day you just go to bed and wake up the next day and it's instantly easier to sort out. Before it was really difficult not to stew about worries all night. I used to just try and distract myself with books and puzzles. But I guess the best thing is just feeling so much more present in the world all the time. Like right now I'm a bit too warm 'cause it's sunny out and I could do with a glass of water, and I guess in a few minutes I might need to stretch my legs 'cause this chair's pretty uncomfortable, and then I might get hungry ... you get the picture. It's just little stuff but without all that sensory input the world feels very weird, kind of like watching your own life at the movies.

Oh, and the smoked sausages with sour cabbage at the White Hart pub in the old city, those are amazing. And sex. Sex is awesome.

[enemytosleep]

@Roy: You've had a number of annoying and/or intrusive questions (some of which I am to blame). Is there anything you'd like to clarify for us after the end of the story?

[bob_fish.livejournal.com]

*narrow eyed-look* That sounds strangely like the set-up for an intrusive question.

[flybynight00.livejournal.com]

Roy: What is your favorite novel?